how to live a better life with your phone

A Twentysomething Guide to Digital Minimalism



Popular media sources love to pigeonhole us into a generation of ‘phone addicted snowflakes’. And yes, we spend an ungodly amount of time staring at our screens. But we sometimes forget that our phone and social media can help make us happier, healthier, and more educated!

Let’s start here: technology isn’t intrinsically bad for you. Nor is it intrinsically beneficial. It all depends on how we use technology. Sometimes it seems as technology controls us, and it’s important to remember that we are fully in control of our digital experience.

So, instead of advocating for completely unplugging (although this can be nice from time to time), I believe that anyone can learn how to use technology in a way that supports their goals and values, and creates a positive digital experience.

Here’s how:  

1 | Take a mental note each time you catch yourself aimlessly scrolling

There’s something so addictive about scrolling through our social feeds that we won’t even stop after doing a full circle and seeing the same old content again. Reaching an end point provides a sense of control (I mean, why would you even consider going to the second page of Google results?). By infinitely scrolling, we never encounter such a trigger, and our brain has to process more information than it can handle, often leaving us a little disoriented and fatigued after snapping out of it.

The first step to un-learning this habit is to simply take a moment when you realise you’re doing it. Ask yourself: “Am I benefitting from this at the moment?” If the answer is no, you’ll notice that it’s suddenly a lot easier to put down your phone.


2 | Turn off your notifications

You own your phone, not the other way around. And I get it, who doesn’t like to distract themselves from other tasks by checking what memes they were tagged in? By doing so, however, you create the idea you’re expected to be available 24/7, and that can be stressful. Why not turn off your notifications and reply at a moment that suits you better, while at the same time reducing your screen time?

3 | Go through unanswered texts before going to bed

Ever woken up in the middle of the night thinking “SHIT I HAVEN’T REPLIED TO THIS PERSON”? (I have it all the time because I suck at replying). Disconnecting and unwinding at the end of your day is easier knowing you haven’t ignored your best friend’s boy-crisis. Set a specific time for when you go through all your texts and (personal) emails, for example after dinner.

4 | Know when something you see is a false reality

“Woman finds secret to eternal life, doctors HATE her”. Whether we’re talking disappointing clickbait articles or low-key influencer marketing on the Gram, there are tons of misleading advertising circulating on the internet. Pay attention to hashtags like #ad or #sponsored to double check if your favourite social media celebrity truly loves a product or service or just is being paid for promoting it.

5 | Similarly, don’t compare yourself to strangers on the internet

Social media can sometimes make us feel like we’re not living our best lives, but in reality, no one is! Like some inject their lips with botox or get butt implants, people ‘cosmetically’ – or rather, technically – alter, distort, and filter their life online. As a result, we’re all set up with a bunch of unrealistic expectations that we consider to be the new normal. Offline, even Alexis Ren looks like she got hit by a car sometimes.


6 | Social media isn’t the equivalent of a social contract

You don’t have to accept your co-workers friend request, or follow back this person you spoke to 6 years ago, even if you feel like you should just to be nice to them. If you really want a valuable digital experience, it doesn’t make sense to allow a bunch of people that you wouldn’t engage with on your timeline.  

7 | Create a list of how you use social media versus how you could use it more effectively

Do you sometimes snoop around the social media accounts of your ex / nemesis / someone you like to hate on/make fun of? That habit is now canceled. Instead, take a regular peek at the profile of someone you look up to. Use it to offer help, educate, or positively influence your digital peers.

8 | Unfollow anyone who doesn’t make you happier, healthier, more educated or inspired

For me, that includes still following a guy that I hardly know, because he often shares genuinely satisfying videos of him peeling off plastic of new equipment. BLISS.


9 | Include your personal goals into your digital experience

Do you want to improve your French this year? Go find someone French-speaking that you’d like to follow and engage with. Watch Netflix shows with French subtitles. Change the language settings on your phone to French and watch how fast you’ll be forced to learn new vocab!

online harassment happens partly because people lose their inhibitions as soon as they go online

Online harassment: trolls exhibit ‘drunken’ behaviour

I shut the door behind me and start sprinting to the bus stop, but the 137 rushes by right past me. Almost on automatic pilot, I take out my phone and start scrolling on Instagram. My thumb lingers over the screen as I see a post about an amazing lady doing amazing things. I check the comments. “You go, girl!” “You are an inspiration to all!” And then…

“Go back to the kitchen!!!!!!”

I click on their profile. A private account. Their profile picture a random cat picture plucked off the internet. Following: a bunch of controversial accounts. Followers: none.

If there’s anything I find more problematic than online harassment, it’s the fact that these people mask their true identity. Internet trolls are teetering on the edge of being dumb enough to engage into this kind of bullying, but smart enough to know that they would face a backlash if their friends, family or employer would catch them spewing their BS on other people’s feed.

Intoxicated on the internet

Why do some people waste their time bothering others on the internet? As soon as we unlock our phones or log on to our computers, we move into a new space. You’re no longer in the room, you are in your own digital bubble, where you feel comfy and safe, hidden away behind a screen.

This (false) sense of safety is what leads some to act differently online, according to Mary Aiken, cyberpsychologist and author of The Cyber Effect. “People can lose their inhibitions and in a way act drunk, because, for some, being in the cyber environment can impair judgement and increase impulsivity, somewhat similar to the way alcohol can” When we’re online, we feel a certain sense of distance and anonymity, as well as a perceived lack of authority.

How to deal with online harassment:

  • Know that the conversations you see online don’t represent society as a whole. It’s usually the (drunk) loud mouths that speak up;
  • If you see a threat being derailed by internet trolls, spread the love by commenting something positive;
  • Always report the posts and comments you feel have crossed a line;
  • Choose your battles and don’t fight fire with fire: if you do feel the need to respond, remind the harasser that they are talking to a real human being. It sounds crazy, but they often forget this!

Cache me if you can

There is definitely less surveillance, and more opportunity to act like a total douche, but comparing the internet to a lawless jungle is a common misperception. We don’t see cop cars speeding through our social media feeds, but that doesn’t mean cybercrime and online harassment goes unnoticed.

Even in our online bubble, we leave behind our ‘digital DNA’ everywhere. The combined efforts of hate speech algorithms and human moderators make sure that comments get removed and fake accounts blocked. And in more extreme cases, the authorities are able to crack the code.

Someone being targeted by online harassment

It was only last week that 21-year old Brandon Fleury was announced to be facing US federal charges for using Instagram to harass, intimidate and threaten. He used several accounts like “nikolas.killed.your.sister” and “nikolasthemurderer” to consistently target family of some of the Parkland victims.

The Internet was created under values of equality, anonymity and freedom. As the line between our cyber-bubble and the physical space becomes blurrier each day, we need to be aware of how our behaviour online has real-life (offline) consequences. Let’s all work harder to make the internet a better place!

Fyre Festival Documentary shows the true power of influencer marketing

Fyre Festival Shows True Power of Influencer Marketing


The new Netflix documentary Fyre: The Greatest Party that Never Happened, shed light on how the most highly anticipated festival of 2017 was built on lies, empty promises and – Instagram. The festival was scheduled to take place on the Bahamian island of Great Exuma over two weekends in April and May but was ultimately cancelled. After months of anticipation, the luxury paradise experience turned out to be severely mismanaged, if not a complete scam. How did so many people take the bait?

Influencers in the digital space

Did your parents tell you not to talk to strangers on the Internet when you were younger? Since then, the internet landscape has changed tremendously, and so has user’s online behaviour. Initially, we used social media as a tool to connect with our friends. Now, more than ever, we’re reaching out to beyond people we have offline relationships with. You’re probably not only talking to strangers on the internet nowadays, but following them too!

Clearly, our trust in others online has increased. Research by Dutch scholar Marjolijn Antheunis suggests that making more digital connections ultimately leads to an increased sense of togetherness between online users. Ordinary Instagram users have amassed thousands of followers doing ordinary things, simply because people are moving to the online sphere to find their community. In some cases, these social media ‘influencers’ are considered to be a part of their followers daily life and an extension of their existing social circles. We now trust strangers on the internet and it shows: 92% of consumers trust an influencer’s opinion about a product or service – someone they have never met in real life.

Fyre Festival frenzy

So what do you get if you put 10 of the most popular Instagram models on a paradise island in a promo video for an exclusive festival experience? A full-blown social media hype. After the video was launched, another 400 Instagram influencers posted nothing more than an orange tile with #fyrefestival in the caption, reaching millions of followers. “Who was playing, what the food was gonna be, all the things that typically sell a music festival wasn’t a sales point. This was like selling a dream, selling a trip, selling a concept”. And this was a concept no one wanted to miss out on: within 48 hours, 95% of the tickets were sold, with VIP packages selling for as much as $12,000.

Upon arrival, the festival-goers immediately realized they were essentially sold hot air. They were transported by regular Boeing 737’s instead of private jets, luxury accommodation turned out to be FEMA disaster relief tents, and the cuisine consisted of dry cheese sandwiches. Within hours, the promised paradise dream turned into a Lord of the Flies-style nightmare. The organisers had no choice but to cancel the event.

Should we blame Kendall Jenner for selling millennials all over the world nothing more than an illusion? The Fyre documentary is a reminder of the remarkable power of influencer marketing, and anything too powerful eventually becomes regulated. After the backlash of the Fyre Festival disaster, new legislation has been introduced to ensure the transparency of influencer marketing. Despite our Instagram celebrities now having to disclose their paid promotion by using #ad or #spon, influencer marketing is here to stay, and it shows no sign of slowing down.

Want to read more on the distorted reality on Instagram? Click here

Bumble BFF allows you to meet new friends by just the touch of a button

I used an app to make friends – here’s how it went:

There are certain things in life you only seem to appreciate once you don’t have them anymore. Like being able to breathe normally when you’re coming down with a cold. Or first moving out of your parents’ home, only to find out the fridge doesn’t magically restock itself. I had a similar realisation when I moved into my flat in Brixton – how amazing is it to just have friends?

Let me clarify: most of your friendships are organic right? They just came into your life at the right time. You never actually sat down and asked them “so, what are we?” It just happened. It’s only after moving to a different country that I realised I needed to do this thing all over again. But how?

So, somewhat reluctantly, I typed ‘how to make friends in London’ into Google, hit enter, and stumbled upon Bumble BFF.

Having done research on online dating in Morocco, I know a fair bit about all the platforms out there. And to be honest, I wasn’t thrilled about getting back on them. However, since Google autofilled my ‘how to make friends in London’ search query, I figured there must be tons of people just as clueless as me. So, I downloaded the app, set up my profile, and got swiping. Here’s how it went:

Setting up a profile feels weird

That’s when I first hit a wall. On a regular dating profile, people often want to come across as desirable and interesting as possible (not judging, we’re all guilty of doing this). I, however, wasn’t trying to lure someone into my bed – I came here to find a partner in crime. But what kind of profile would make someone say “wow I totally want to be friends with her”? This is what I settled on:

My own Bumble BFF profile

…but not as weird as swiping left (or right)

Looking for a friend to work out / drink prosecco / have brunch / watch Netflix / go dog-spotting with? You’ll find your match in no time. Even if you’re more into niche activities, from smashing the patriarchy to cross-stitching, your new BFF is out there!

If you feel like this Bumble BFF is full of weird people that are not able to make friends – think again. On the app I came across a lot of ladies who were new to London and therefore looking to meet some new people, but everyone had their own story and reason to use Bumble BFF. People drift apart, fall out, or might just be in different life phases.

I’ve always felt that with online dating you’re not really swiping left or right on them as a person, but the image they have created of themselves. So, no hard feelings if it isn’t a match! Looks obviously don’t matter if we’re talking friendship, and it just felt a little judgemental swiping left based on a couple of lines.

So my activity looked a little like this:



“YOU HAVE A MATCH”. First, there was excitement, then there was terror. The good news is that on this platform, you won’t be sent any creepy pick-up lines. Instead, you’ll usually be met with complete silence. Which I get, because starting a conversation is tricky when there aren’t any rules to this game. There are so many ways to go about this, from completely oversharing to “so… have you seen Birdbox?” Luckily, I wasn’t alone on this one, and once the ice was broken, I got some pretty good conversations out of it.

There’s this thing called a Mate Date: and I went on one.

But where to go from here? A couple of days into my Bumble ad-friend-ture I started to wonder what would be right time to ask my Bumble BFF if she wanted to hang out. I was ready to make a bold move, but she actually got ahead of me. Before I was able to overthink this, we made plans to meet at a cocktail bar in the South of London.

Was I nervous? A little bit. Did I need to be? Absolutely not. At the beginning it did feel a little bit date-y. And you can’t distract the other person from your shit personality by seductively sipping your drink – it really is all about that connection and friendship potential! Luckily, we hit it off from the beginning, and had a fabulous time getting to know each other. Fast forward two hours, I was eating a chippy in her kitchen and happily chatting away with her flatmates before all heading to a house party. “Is she a serial dater?” I asked one of them. “No, you’re actually the first she brought home!” he replied.

Bumble BFF is here to stay

With our second mate date planned for next week, I can honestly say that I’m super happy that I tried out this tech-y new way of making new friends. If there’s anything I learned from this experience, it’s that there will always be people open to new friendships, and you’re not weird for actively looking for one. Whatever your thoughts on online dating are, we can’t deny that technology has facilitated some amazing new ways to meet like-minded people with the touch of a button. Would you give it a go?