Bumble BFF allows you to meet new friends by just the touch of a button

I used an app to make friends – here’s how it went:

There are certain things in life you only seem to appreciate once you don’t have them anymore. Like being able to breathe normally when you’re coming down with a cold. Or first moving out of your parents’ home, only to find out the fridge doesn’t magically restock itself. I had a similar realisation when I moved into my flat in Brixton – how amazing is it to just have friends?

Let me clarify: most of your friendships are organic right? They just came into your life at the right time. You never actually sat down and asked them “so, what are we?” It just happened. It’s only after moving to a different country that I realised I needed to do this thing all over again. But how?

So, somewhat reluctantly, I typed ‘how to make friends in London’ into Google, hit enter, and stumbled upon Bumble BFF.

Having done research on online dating in Morocco, I know a fair bit about all the platforms out there. And to be honest, I wasn’t thrilled about getting back on them. However, since Google autofilled my ‘how to make friends in London’ search query, I figured there must be tons of people just as clueless as me. So, I downloaded the app, set up my profile, and got swiping. Here’s how it went:

Setting up a profile feels weird

That’s when I first hit a wall. On a regular dating profile, people often want to come across as desirable and interesting as possible (not judging, we’re all guilty of doing this). I, however, wasn’t trying to lure someone into my bed – I came here to find a partner in crime. But what kind of profile would make someone say “wow I totally want to be friends with her”? This is what I settled on:

My own Bumble BFF profile

…but not as weird as swiping left (or right)

Looking for a friend to work out / drink prosecco / have brunch / watch Netflix / go dog-spotting with? You’ll find your match in no time. Even if you’re more into niche activities, from smashing the patriarchy to cross-stitching, your new BFF is out there!

If you feel like this Bumble BFF is full of weird people that are not able to make friends – think again. On the app I came across a lot of ladies who were new to London and therefore looking to meet some new people, but everyone had their own story and reason to use Bumble BFF. People drift apart, fall out, or might just be in different life phases.

I’ve always felt that with online dating you’re not really swiping left or right on them as a person, but the image they have created of themselves. So, no hard feelings if it isn’t a match! Looks obviously don’t matter if we’re talking friendship, and it just felt a little judgemental swiping left based on a couple of lines.

So my activity looked a little like this:

via GIPHY

CHATTING UP A FRIEND IS HARDER THAN IT SEEMS

“YOU HAVE A MATCH”. First, there was excitement, then there was terror. The good news is that on this platform, you won’t be sent any creepy pick-up lines. Instead, you’ll usually be met with complete silence. Which I get, because starting a conversation is tricky when there aren’t any rules to this game. There are so many ways to go about this, from completely oversharing to “so… have you seen Birdbox?” Luckily, I wasn’t alone on this one, and once the ice was broken, I got some pretty good conversations out of it.

There’s this thing called a Mate Date: and I went on one.

But where to go from here? A couple of days into my Bumble ad-friend-ture I started to wonder what would be right time to ask my Bumble BFF if she wanted to hang out. I was ready to make a bold move, but she actually got ahead of me. Before I was able to overthink this, we made plans to meet at a cocktail bar in the South of London.

Was I nervous? A little bit. Did I need to be? Absolutely not. At the beginning it did feel a little bit date-y. And you can’t distract the other person from your shit personality by seductively sipping your drink – it really is all about that connection and friendship potential! Luckily, we hit it off from the beginning, and had a fabulous time getting to know each other. Fast forward two hours, I was eating a chippy in her kitchen and happily chatting away with her flatmates before all heading to a house party. “Is she a serial dater?” I asked one of them. “No, you’re actually the first she brought home!” he replied.

Bumble BFF is here to stay

With our second mate date planned for next week, I can honestly say that I’m super happy that I tried out this tech-y new way of making new friends. If there’s anything I learned from this experience, it’s that there will always be people open to new friendships, and you’re not weird for actively looking for one. Whatever your thoughts on online dating are, we can’t deny that technology has facilitated some amazing new ways to meet like-minded people with the touch of a button. Would you give it a go?

How Social Media Envy Affects Us All

Quiz time! For what reason are you active on social media?

  1. To connect and keep in touch with people

  2. To be in the loop and inform myself

  3. To look at pug videos all day

  4. To manage and control the impression I make on others

You probably never even considered answer D to be the reason why you just love broadcasting live updates of your Sunday brunch on Instagram, right? Even if you hardly post on social media, you’ll be likely to treat your followers to a picture-perfect version of whatever it is you share.

Social media envy from Instagram
My personal feed. Cue party pics, milestones, showing off my friends, #instatravel…

Getting lost in this constant influx of images and content is way more than our brillant bean can take. Especially when we get bombarded with the creme de la creme of content. It makes us feel like we should be (or have been) there. That we need that product to look stylish, or fit in. It makes us wish that we could have the same body, boyfriend, or bank account.

social media Jealousy vs. social media Envy

Although envy and jealousy are often used interchangeably, there is a subtle yet important difference between the two. Does the idea of other people sliding into your lover’s DMs make you feel like you should punch a wall? You’re jealous. Envy is scrolling through Instagram, seeing things you want and feeling bad about not being able to have it. In a way, FOMO (fear of missing out) is also a form of envy.

So, jealousy is when you worry someone will take what you have, while envy is wanting what someone else has. Although social media jealousy definitely a problem that should be explored further, I’ll be focussing on social media envy, and the eternal struggle for the pursuit of happiness.

Keeping up with the Kardashians

Feeling envious, or comparing yourself to others is a very real thing, and you don’t have to be ashamed for it. In fact, we all experience it. Plus, it’s been around forever! The only difference is that it didn’t happen on a tiny screen. Today it’s all about the Kardashians, but a decade or two ago we were all keeping up with the Jones’es.

We wouldn’t feel like we were missing out on life just because some blond babe across the globe livestreamed herself swimming with sharks: we simply didn’t have access to her life. Instead, you would throw a tantrum because your frenemy from third grade got this awesome Tamagotchi, and you also wanted one. Similarly, your parents would be making snarky comments about Mr. Jones’es new shiny Ferrari parked on the driveway, right next to their Ford.

Being envious of one person in your direct circle is already harmful enough. Imagine seeing hundreds of those envy-evoking images on your Instagram feed. Every. Day. Sometimes it can feel like someone else is living your dream life. You’d almost think your own life isn’t fulfilling enough.

Social media envy makes us feel like we're not living our best lives
Social media envy makes us feel like we’re not living our best lives

In the latest podcast of The Minimalists, author Rachel Cruze explains how social media platforms have completely transformed our sense of relativity. “We now carry around something in our back pockets that offers us a window into everyone’s life”. But this life of theirs isn’t real. Like we can inject our lips with botox or get butt implants, we can ‘cosmetically’ – or rather, technically – alter, distort, and filter our life online. As a result, we’re all set up with a bunch of unrealistic expectations that we consider to be the new normal.

It’s time to come to the realisation that offline, even Alexis Ren looks like she got hit by a car sometimes.